Hey baby... missed me? If the answer there was yes, then I am sorry to say the feeling is not mutual. Where to start - so much has gone on in the last few months that I am not even sure where I was up to when I left off last. So forgive me if this post is a little jumpy, I will try my best to not let this end up like one of the 'Matrix' movies, coz that was just confusing and kinda shit me.
First, I feel the need to explain where the fuck I have been for the last 3 months. I am still not sure, so if you find me, let me know where I was? In the end, I am back because my mate (and only follower coz she is the only person I am brave enough to let see all this shit) said to me the other day 'you were coping a lot better when you were writing'. And fuck I hope its true. Sometimes it scares me that my mental health is something I will never stop questioning, never recover from having had that label, deserving of it or not. The most fucked bit of this post is that as I hear it in my head I am aware of the rambling... just another sign that my brain is not coping in its 'normal' way. Whatever the fuck that is.
So, an update on family life. The kids are still driving me nuts, and are still the most beautiful and amazing creatures on the planet. Little by little I am becoming more aware of what resilient little buggers they are. The kids went back to school, had swimming lessons, both had time off with a cold, they got nits... twice, and I managed to survive the term with only 1 nervous breakdown in the kids classrooms. It appears that my darling son has decided that school work sux, is boring, and is clearly not worth his time or effort. And he told the Vice Principal so when he was sent there for 'insolence and refusal to cooperate in a learning situation'. Whatever the fuck that means.
Curly had surgery. Again. The big one this time. Transabdominal Disc Replacement. It sounds fucking scary saying it out loud, and I am still having trouble getting my head around the fact that to fix his back, they had to cut open his front. Which means he now has another spot on his body that hurts. He is still at home with us, and will be for at least another few months by the look of things. The doctors have had him on so many drugs that withdrawal was going to be a problem no matter what happened. But when we had to see a different doctor the other day who said, and I quote 'I have never seen anyone on that much narcotic. Not in 25 years of general practice', I realised exactly how much trouble we were in. Makes me fucking sick actually, because I made it clear to the doctors that I had concerns about the amount of drugs he was being prescribed. And while I know that you cant just leave someone in pain... surely there was another fucking option. But what the fuck would I know?
I honestly feel like life has not stopped. I guess I didnt mention it coz I bailed out of this blogging lark before it happened, but I have joined the kids school P&C. As the secretary. And what the fuck have I done there?? I encouraged this sheila from school that she should take the position of president. Well she has been blowin smoke up her own ass since I met her about what an awesome job she has done on P&C committees. Turns out she is about as useless as tits on a bull. And I encouraged her to do this. She does nothing. NOTHING! So far the rest of us have picked up the pieces and made this work, but now she is feeling the need to assert her authority 'as president' and I dont know if the committee is big enough for the both of us. Actually come to think of it I dont know if it is big enough for her and anyone else at all! If only I had fucking known...
I am exhausted. If you managed to read all that rambling crap, I am sorry. I will try to be better. I dont know if anyone is reading this at all, except my one loyal follower *insert eye rolling here* but you were right again girl, I do feel better.
'Til next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment